Kevin T. Porter
Cheap Seats

I live in the cheap seats. I love the cheap seats. The cheap seats is the safest fortress against the dark and craven forces of productivity I’ve ever known. And don’t you worry, I got me an inventory. I’ve been stockpiling bitter spitballs and grenades of utter fecklessness for the last 24 years. I am ready for war against those nice enough to challenge me to do hard things, to reach beyond my means, to TRY. Those encouraging me, those pushing me, those wanting my good, I can simply avoid their pleas dance around these dumb-dumbs like a prima ballerina headlining Carnegie Hall.

Are you gonna make something of value? Are you going to a least attempt to contribute an iota of your energy and value to your world? Are you gonna put yourself at risk and have the courage to fail in the name of DOING SOMETHING? No. My way’s better and I’m gonna leave a comment on your thing letting you know that.

Destruction is easier than creation? Nahh, that doesn’t sound quite right.

Sorkinisms II

Hey friends,

In 2001, when I was all of 11 years old, my mom bought me Sports Night: The Complete Series on DVD for Christmas. That was the beginning.

In middle and high school I remember ripping the audio from the DVDs of The West Wing and listening to them while falling asleep every single night. I listened to them more than music. I remember starting fan clubs on Facebook for Studio 60 before the show aired a single episode. And I remember going to the Cinerama Dome at the Arclight in Hollywood for the first time 3 years ago to see The Social Network.

In the last 12 years I’ve internalized the rhythms and patterns of Sorkin’s language, like a vocabulary of linguistic heartbeats. When I started seeing connections throughout his works I thought it might be a fun editing exercise to put them together as a cohesive whole, not as a critique or takedown but as a tribute, a conversation-starter, a piece of fan-art that the die-hards would appreciate. Needless to say I was pretty surprised at how negatively many people took it, and even more surprised by how many bothered to watch it at all.

Knowing this is why I’ve put this lengthy of a disclaimer on Sorkinisms II. I want people to know that none of this flows out of bitterness or resentment, hatred or the desire to take someone down. Rather this all started with love. I’ll always remember watching Sports Night for the first time and thinking “I didn’t know TV could do that”

I moved to LA not solely but LARGELY inspired by the work of Aaron Sorkin. I interned at Tommy Schlamme’s production company when I got here in ‘09 because I wanted to work with the guys who made the television that made me love television.

So the new supercut is a continuation of that same tribute, but with this asterisk attached to it. In it you’ll find scenes, characters, and names EERILY similar to each other. But a lot of it is just having fun with words (certainly no one would count “from time to time” or “there it is” as self-plagiarism but rather a familiar phrase)

Aaron’s been incredibly kind and gracious in my correspondence with him and so I owe it to him to do the same here. (as if he needed my positive affirmation) Take it as criticism, don’t take it as criticism, it’s entirely up to you. My mindset is that it’s fun, it’s playful, and at worst it’s the gentle ribbing a little brother would give the big brother he looks up to and wants to be like.

I hope you enjoy it, and if you don’t…well, sorry. Watch the real thing on HBO Sunday nights :)

An Open Letter to Sammy Rhodes

Hey Sam, 

Christian brother to Christian brother (and comedy fan to comedy fan), I used to enjoy your stuff until i found out about the inspired / stolen from other people tweets you’ve been doing (almost like joke structure mad libs) and I while I think you have fair points (“re-running” some tweets, while maybe annoying, doesn’t necessarily lack integrity) and everyone critiquing you has fair points, I think the core problem might be a grave misunderstanding about the value of creative content on Twitter. 

Like @DCPierson said, writers like @meganamram were able to start a legit career through this tool. I think it shows disrespect on your part to be willfully flippant with it. There’s a lot of noise, and in so many ways it feels like the wild wild west, but that’s just more of a reason and motivation for us to be responsible with it. You can dismiss it as a “Crappy Narnia” but this crappy Narnia is a path to livelihood for so many writers and comedians. Twitter is real and means something, something that’s likely more evident on the East and West Coast than it would be in South Carolina. (That’s not geographic snobbery as much as demographic fact, a larger concentration of artists in New York and LA)

Not to play the Jesus card too heavy, but I also think continuing on without further addressing or changing reflects poorly on you and your vocation as a minister of the Gospel. As Christians, we’re called to avoid even the appearance of evil. What does your behavior communicate when the comedians whose work you probably love (@PattonOswalt) begin to question your integrity?

As much as a stranger can to another stranger, I love you and I want your good. I don’t believe you’re an evil dude, and I think you might even have a measure of success in comedy, but not like this. I do know that, just like me, you’re an imperfect man and a sinner. So in love, I’m pleading with you that you strongly reconsider your current approach on Twitter. Maybe another fast or a sabbatical, but please consider others, consider love, consider representing your faith well. Not for the approval of man, but because ultimately what’s right is always more important than what gets you more followers, and maybe you can do both at the same time.

-@KevinTPorter

"My night? It was pretty good, but I ran into this super condescending water fountain. It was almost weird how much he didn’t seem to trust me. Like, give me a little credit, fountain! I’ve been doing this for a while!"

"My night? It was pretty good, but I ran into this super condescending water fountain. It was almost weird how much he didn’t seem to trust me. Like, give me a little credit, fountain! I’ve been doing this for a while!"

Heyyyy Tony Hale and @tara_copeland at @ucbtla’s Gravid Water (at Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre)

Heyyyy Tony Hale and @tara_copeland at @ucbtla’s Gravid Water (at Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre)

2 of the greats: @chelsanity & Adam Scott (at Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre)

2 of the greats: @chelsanity & Adam Scott (at Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre)

Throwback Friday. 4/5/09 Bruce Springsteen & The E Street Band in Austin TX, front row with Cory, Cassie, @kelseyrmanning, Katie, and Grant. I love all these people and everything about this day and this memory forever. Throwback to when I was happy jk kinda! 🎷🎸

Throwback Friday. 4/5/09 Bruce Springsteen & The E Street Band in Austin TX, front row with Cory, Cassie, @kelseyrmanning, Katie, and Grant. I love all these people and everything about this day and this memory forever. Throwback to when I was happy jk kinda! 🎷🎸

Throwback Friday. 4/5/09 Bruce Springsteen & The E Street Band in Austin TX, front row with Cassie, Cory, Katie @kelseyrmanning and Grant. I love all these people and everything about this day and this memory forever. Throwback to when I was happy jk kinda! 🎷🎸

Throwback Friday. 4/5/09 Bruce Springsteen & The E Street Band in Austin TX, front row with Cassie, Cory, Katie @kelseyrmanning and Grant. I love all these people and everything about this day and this memory forever. Throwback to when I was happy jk kinda! 🎷🎸

Aw yeah! Who wants to come tailgate w/ me?? COOK OUT! We’s gonna have hot as hell (that doesn’t exist) dogs, Virgin Mary (doesn’t matter if she was a Virgin) bloody Marys, and some smoked Universalami sandwiches! So get in the Oldsmobile and come to the party everyone’s invited to! 🎶 Bell-a-bate good times, COME ON! 🎶 #robandroll

Aw yeah! Who wants to come tailgate w/ me?? COOK OUT! We’s gonna have hot as hell (that doesn’t exist) dogs, Virgin Mary (doesn’t matter if she was a Virgin) bloody Marys, and some smoked Universalami sandwiches! So get in the Oldsmobile and come to the party everyone’s invited to! 🎶 Bell-a-bate good times, COME ON! 🎶 #robandroll

Ben Schwartz presents Snowpants. This show will never not be delightful. (at Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre)

Ben Schwartz presents Snowpants. This show will never not be delightful. (at Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre)